so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
