Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Randomize
