Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
