He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
