Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize