you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Your penis caused this!
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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