I'm lost and stupid without you.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
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He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
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Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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