you guys were way drunker than both of me
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
