pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
