weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
