I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
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