; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
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