At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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