Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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