3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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