There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
