rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Terrible idea I love it
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
