I should be sponsored by Trojan
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
