I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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