I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
