I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
