nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
