Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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