Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
