She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
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I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
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I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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