Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
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