If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize