Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to swaddle you in tequila
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
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