Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Randomize
