Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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