He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
