I hate your face
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
