Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
