I'm laying in your front yard are you home
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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