He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
