i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
