Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
