he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
