I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Randomize
