they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
