Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
The adults are the big ones right?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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