Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
