The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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