Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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