you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
