I'm lost and stupid without you.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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