the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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