two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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