Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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