And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
