The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Randomize
