can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize