I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
