I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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