I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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