forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
