he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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