yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
