Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
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Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
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This is classic penis vs brain.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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