Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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