Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
