theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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