Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
