Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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