I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
