I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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